Tainted Curse
by KA- ye ol' psycho ones
Summary: It was just another mission. They thought everything was alright but they were wrong, way wrong...Now Yusuke's lost his memory, kuwabara thinks he's a girl, Hiei is a 5 year old, and Kurama...well you'll find out...DISCONTINUED
1. WFT?

Note- SoraKamuiSor and Kaze Angel408 

Kaze-Welcome to the first chapter of our "story." We're so happy you...Wait a minute where the hell is Sora?

Kurama- You locked her in the closet remember

Kaze- OH yeah evil laugh

Hiei-She passed out 20 minutes ago just walked into the room

Kaze- Oh that's why the banging stopped...Oh sweet silence...

Kurama- sweat drop uh maybe we should start the story now...

Hiei-Oh no I'm not going to be in your shit-story

Kaze- takes out pen don't make me put you in a pink dress and shove you in the closet with sora...

Hiei- i'll behave

Kaze- poor sora is still all alone

Yusuke- Just get on with it...shoots Kaze with his spirit gun. Laughs as she went unconscious

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Yusuke walked to Kuwabara's door and knocked loudly. After a few seconds Shizuru answered "Hey Yusuke!"

"Hey Shizuru is Kuwabara here?" Yusuke asked quickly not wanting to chat with Shizuru.

"Yeah just a sec...Sis, Yusuke's here." (A/N Kaze- Just bare with me here)

A tall girl with short orange hair and a blue school uniform (like Keiko's) ran down the steps. If you ask me she looks like a female Frankenstein. A hair female Frankenstein.

"Yusuke!" She shrieked "Did you finally come to ask me out?"

Yusuke rolled his eyes, "I'm still with Keiko, Kuwabara."

"Well dump her sorry ass. I'm way sexier than her, anyways," Kuwabara said doing "model" posses.

"Yeah, your about as sexy as a hairy gorilla in a bikini," Yusuke muttered.

"What was that?" Kuwabara asked standing right in front of him.

"Huh? Oh it was nothing, nothing at all..."Yusuke suddenly heard a beeping noise. "Do you hear that? What is it?"

"Its your alarm clock telling you to wake up."

"Oh..."

Yusuke woke up and smacked the alarm clock, "God damn alarm clock!" He muttered angrily. He suddenly remembered his dream. 'Why was Kuwabara a girl...Is there something he's keeping from me.'

"Yusuke, are you awake? I don't want to pay for school if you're not even gonna go!"

"Mom...It's Saturday...and it's summertime. School's been out for a week now."

"Stop being a smart-ass, Yusuke! Just get to school!" (obviously she's drunk)

"Fine," Yusuke walked out the door and down the street...'Where should I go? I could go to Kuwabara's...on second thought after that dream I better not. The last thing I need is to walk in on him putting on a bra and thong.' Yusuke shudders at the thought 'I'll just go sit down at the park.'

Just as Yusuke was about to sit down his communicator went off. "Hey Toddler, What do you want?" Yusuke asked lazily.

"I am not a toddler! I need you to come to my office ASAP. I have a mission for you. Kuwabara, Kurama and Hiei are already here."

"Alright. I'll get there when I get there."

"That sounds promising," Koemba muttered, "Good-bye."

Yusuke transported to spirit world. He walked into the room "Hey who's trying to kill us now? Koemba looks up at Yusuke strut his "stuff" into the room slowly stopping by Kurama (on the other side of the room from Kuwabara.)

"Oh yes Yusuke its about time you got here," Koemba smirks as he picks up the remote and hits the only button on it. "Here's our newest enemy. He has unusual power he seems to just say three words and nothing else. The last people went against him and got him to move about five feet."

"Soooo, We're going against a rock? Kuwabara inputs with a confused voice.

"No we're going against a pile of shit, yes we're going against a rock." Yusuke says sarcastically.

"Well no, His name is Rajika. He's a psychic demon, so he has no need to move."

"Whoa wait. What the Fuck is a psychic demon?" Yusuke asked leaning against the wall.

"A psychic demon is a human-like demon. You must be extremely careful. From what we know so far is he uses his mind to "speak", put up force-fields, and pick things up."

"All with his mind? What is he? Freakin Alfred Einstein." Kuwabara said amazed.

"It's Albert Einstein? Albert Einstein was a demon! He's still alive?"

"Idiot," Hiei muttered.

"uh...Are we going to fight him or not?" Yusuke asked Koemba, as he looked at Kuwabara, with a sweat-drop on the back of his head.

"Yes, but we need him captured alive."

"Why, might I ask, would you want such a powerful demon in spirit world?" Kurama asked looking at the picture of a blacked hair, Goth-like demon.

Koemba just looks at him with a weird look on his face...Yusuke look around "Oh...I get it daddy told you to, if you don't you will get spanked...What 300 times?" Yusuke says slightly nicely.

Koemba slowly breaths in and out (A/N Kaze- Wow Sora is it just me or does Koemba look pissed off.)

"No Yusuke I won't get spanked! Yes father wants me to do this. Kurama, father had an idea if we capture him we could use him for our won good but of course we will have to keep a close eye on him (A/N Sora-I'm bad at trying to act like Koemba)(Kaze-I'll say)

"We could use him for our own purposes? Hey! Are you trying to replace me?" Yusuke yelled.

"No, of course not, Yusuke. You're the best pain-in-the-ass spirit detective I ever had." (A/N Kaze- That doesn't make sense.)

As Yusuke looked quite pleased with himself. Kurama asked ", How would you be able to get him to work for you? Since he's a psychic demon you cant just control him. This is a risky idea your father had."

" I know that and my father does, too, but if it could benefit spirit world why not try?"

"Because you could kill everybody if he got loose." Kurama stated.

"What's it matter? Let the daddy's boy do what he wants," Hiei Snapped "He is after all snicker the prince snicker of spirit world."

"God Shortie Could you be anymore cruel," Kuwabara shouted in his really loud, really annoying voice.

"Yes, want to see," Hiei said drawing his blade.

"Hiei, save it for Rajika. Can we leave now or does Hiei have to kill Kuwabara first?"

"No, NO you can go now, but watch out don't let Rajika speak, because he can curse you." Koemba said.

"Don't Worry We're not gonna get cursed," Yusuke said as they walked out the door. (A/N Kaze- snicker)

They quickly found themselves outside of a huge castle. (A/N Kaze- Oh a spider web...Oh!...Sora Spit GROSS!)

"Kuwabara...go knock on the door," Yusuke whispered.

"Yusuke, you don't knock on an evil guys door," Hiei said annoyed.

"Well sorry for trying to be polite."

"Maybe if we knock he'll be in a good mood since we didn't barge in and he'll come with us quietly," Kuwabara said.

"If you believe that logic then you really are a dumb-ass!" Hiei muttered.

"Good thinking Kuwabara!" Yusuke said (A/N Kaze-hehe had to.)

Hiei falls over anime style. Kurama shakes his head ", Lets get this over with..." He said as he opened the door and walked in. The rest followed silently behind.

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Kaze-finally woke up See that wasn't so bad.

Kuwabara- Speak for yourself. starts crying I was a girl in Yusuke's dream.

Kaze- Shrugs Hey Sora's back...Hehe. Hi Sora! Don't kill me for locking you in the closet.

Sora-Damn you

Kaze-Ah...See you next chapter I hope.

Hiei- No you wont they hate it...

Kaze- Knocks Hiei out quickly


	2. Shit!

Kaze- Welcome to the second chapter! See Hiei I told you we'd have another chapter 

Hiei- Sure whatever...You got 1 review Oh boy

Kaze- HIEI!

Hiei- I mean I'm so sorry Kaze you are the smartest most brilliant person in the world...KAZE! Why the hell did you make me say that!

Kaze- Sorry had to (Puts cap back on the pen) Ahh...this is the life...

Kuwabara- your not going to make do crap like are you...

Kaze- Hey great idea (takes out the pen)

Kuwabara- Ahh (runs away)

Kaze- Get back here (runs after Kuwabara)

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"Are we there, yet?" Yusuke whined.

"What are you...Three..."Hiei said annoyed.

"NO! I'm Two get it right!"

"And this is suppose to be the person defending spirit and human world...We're screwed."

Kuwabara lets out a girly scream which makes Yusuke remember is dream as she shudders.

"Now what?" Hiei asks cooly.

Kuwabara does a pansy dance (A/N Kaze- I can picture it now.) "I saw a spider!"

"You're afraid of a spider but you weren't afraid of charging at torugo(sp?) at the tournament." Kurama said confused.

Before Kuwabara could answer, the ground gave out and they fell into a dark room.

"I am Rajika," A "voice" boomed.

"Shit!"

"What?" Yusuke asked.

"No...I just shit my pants."

Everyone moved 3 ft from Kuwabara.

"Ha Ha Ha...He scared you shitless."

After about 1 min. of staring at Kuwabara they started their fight. Kurama took out his rose whip. Slowly he twirled it and flicked his wrist and the end of the whip just bounces off the guy's spirit shield. Hiei draws his Katana and charges at Rajika. His sword cuts into the shield then snaps off leaving half of it in the spirit shield. Hiei looks at the sword in the shield then the other part in his hand... "Now I'm pissed off," Hiei charges at Rajika once more, in a bright light and a piercing scream Hiei goes flying and lands on the ground limp and lifeless. (A/N Kaze- Sora wrote the fight scene so don't blame me!)

"Hiei!" Yusuke screams running over to him. Slowly touching his shoulder he looks back at Rajika. Slowly standing takes a stance (A/N Kaze- God is everything in slow motion these people must have a lot of time on their hands)

"You don't kill my friend and get away with it!" Slowly gripping his hand yet more anger rises. He slowly starts to get ready to fir his spirit gun. "Bang," is all Yusuke says as he launches the attack straight at Rajika.

The shot hit the shield and was absorbed into it.

"Damn it" Yusuke yells.

Rajika starts to "laugh" but was cut short by the sound of cracking. The spirit shield around Rajika started to break! (A/N Kaze- Ha Ha.)

When the shield broke all the chunks of spirit shield went at Rajika, cutting him severely.

"Hmph...Do you give up?" Yusuke smirked.

'Yes, you were able to defeat my spirit shield...I sur..."Rajika was cut off by something smacking him in the face. (A/N Kaze- Eww...) (A/N Sora- I know)

"What the hell was that?" Yusuke yelled.

"That's right you bastard," Kuwabara said "That's for scaring me shitless" (A/N Kaze- did he just hit him with what i think he hit him with)

"Kuwabara...did you just chuck a chunk of shit at the enemy," Yusuke asked. Kuwabara nodded. "What the hell is wrong with you? You don't hit somebody with a piece of shit. It just ain't right, you stupid big oaf!"

"Why not he's the one who made me shit my pants."

Rajika stood up 'You shall all pay for the mistake of your friend...' He slowly started to chant 'Mudoru' over and over again. (A/N Sora- when we were planning the chant we just put insert word so it was like he was slowly chanting, "insert word, insert word," lol I'm crazy!)

Everyone slowly passes out one thud after another.

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Kaze- That wasn't so bad

Hiei- actually I liked it you made Kuwabara even more stupider than usual

Kaze- o...k...Hey where's Sora?

Hiei- Did you lock her in the closet again...

Kaze- Damn it I put her in the drawer...

Hiei-You did WHAT?

Kaze- Um...Nothing...I better go get her shouldn't I...walks out to get Sora

Hiei- I guess i'm suppose to say review. Well I'm not going to I'm to damn lazy...


	3. Burning the Burning

Kaze-Welcome to Chapter 3...I'd also like to welcome Sora...Who finally showed up.

Sora-Yes I have come at last no thanks to you, Kaze...You know how long it took me to get out of that dresser drawer.

Kaze- Only 3 days (cries) Not fair you were suppose to stay in there for 3 weeks.

Sora-Is that why there was a clock counting down with these weird sticks sticking out of them?

Kaze-I have no idea what your talking about...

Hiei-I did that.

Sora-(Blank look) What now, Kurama trying to hump at tree...why does everyone hate me.

Frey- I like you (Frey from Alice 19th)

Kaze- Frey, your not in this story. GO AWAY!

Sora- I think I'm going to go...Oh hey there little guy. (Reaches down to pet the turtle with the sharp teeth.)

Kaze-(Watches as Sora gets bit) Well on with he story...I guess.

(Sorry Kurama lovers you'll see)  
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Yusuke woke up the next morning and looked around his room (A/N Kaze- Botan found them and brought everyone to Yusuke's house)

"Where the hell am I?" Yusuke looks around again, "And how did I get here?"

"I carried you," Botan said as she sat on her oar right outside Yusuke's window.

"Ahh! A GHOST!" Yusuke screamed as he ran out of his room and into the bathroom locking the door.

"Oh dear..." Botan said as she flew into the house and stood in the living room where everybody else was sleeping.

"Ahh!" Somebody, a more girly person, screamed. Botan looked to see Kuwabara, standing on the other side of the room ", I was sleeping with boys...OMG! Perverts!" She I mean he yelled though nobody else woke up.(A/N-OMGOh My God)

"Kuwabara, are you ok?"

"No! Botan I woke up sleeping with boys?

"So?"

"So? OMG Are you calling me a guy? You are, aren't you? You're just jealous of my superior looks"

Before Botan could answer she heard a small groan followed by a whimper "Uhh...(A/N Sora- Think of a little kid whining) mm...t-t-turn off the light." Hiei rolls around trying to cover his face "Please daddy let me sleep a little longer."

Botan looks at Hiei a little freaked out

"OMG," squealed Kuwabara "He's so cute!" Kuwabara skips over to him as the room bounces (A/N Sora-Fat ass)

"Umm...Hiei you feeling a little under the weather," Botan says as Kuwabara semi sumos the little boy as she i mean he..(I think) cuddles him to his/her manly chest.

"Who are you crazy lady," Hiei says squeaky yet cocky.

"That's Botan." Kuwabara says kissing Hiei all over.

Suddenly Botan's oar appears in her hand " I gotta tell Koemba what's going on." She slowly straddles the oar.

"OH crazy lady! You Can fly! Wow what else can you do! Your a witch, aren't you? Come on show me what you can do? Please, Please!"

"Oh Shut Up!" Botan hits him with her oar. Hiei slowly starts to cry.

"Botan say your sorry!" Kuwabara cuddles him trying to get him to stop.

"Oh please. I'm going bye!" Botan flies away. Kuwabara starts to feel something on his/her leg.

"Hey hot stuff wanna play with my oar?" Kurama says smoothly and seductively as he runs his hand up and down his leg over and over.

Kuwabara lets out a glass shattering scream. "PERVERT!" He/she slaps him as hard as she can Kurama puts his hand on his cheek looking at Kuwabara "Oh Playing hard to get I see."

Hiei covers his eyes "NC17, NC17" Hiei keeps chanting that as he rocks back and forth.

Kuwabara hits him again "I'm taking a shower." And runs away...

A few seconds later...

"OMG, You fucking perv!" Kuwabara shouts as Yusuke goes flying through the door.

"The horror, THE HORROR! My eyes they're bleeding! OH MY DEAR GOD, It was awful...The nakedness, the hairyness, The NC-17ness!" Yusuke cries out as he sits in fetal position.

"Mister, it's gonna be alright," Hiei says coming up to Yusuke "Dont worry, you'll be just fine."

"You dont know, You didn't see what I saw...I mean if it was some sexy woman it would be fine but not an over hairy, Big ass, limp dicked man!"

"Big ass? Limp dick? I'm confused" Hiei whined.

"Yusuke!" Keiko shouted coming into the house ",Don't use bad language infront of such a sweet innocent boy."

"who are you?" Yusuke asked.

"Yusuke! I cant believe you, first you stood me up last night now you're pretending like you dont know me!"

"I'm not pretending, who are you? Is my name Yusuke?"

"What, are you blind! It's me, Keiko! What do you mean of course your name is Yusuke!" Keiko was just about to slap him when Botan came barging in again.

"Wait, Keiko!" She yells, Keiko stops and looks at her, "He seriously doesn't remember you. I went to spirit world to talk to Koemba. He's talked to Rajika, who is locked up and he says that they are now cursed."

"Cursed?"

"Yep, Yusuke can't remember anything before today, Hiei's a 5 year old again, Kuwabara thinks he's a girl, and Kurama, well, I dont know."

"What? He's cursed! How am I suppose to have a relationship with someone who can't remember me!"

"Keiko, chill, we're doing the best we can. Rajika wont tell us hw to un-curse them."

"Let me get a hold of the bastard, I'll make him talk," Keiko yelled."

"Ms. Keiko-lady, please stop yelling, you're hurting my sensitive ears," Hiei whined.

"OH he's so cute!" Keiko said cuddling him "Is this really Hiei! Can we just leave him small?"

"NO! We need them!"

Just then Kuwabara walked out of the bathroom with a towel on.. "Keiko, Botan can I borrow one of your guy's clothes."

"Why can't you wear your own..."

"'Cause mine are dirty."

They all look at him/her like he/she is a freak "uhh..Here wear some of Yusuke's clothes." Botan says creeped out.

"NO NOT MY CLOTHES! I dont want his limp dick anywhere near my pants!" Yusuke starts to feak out once more as he dry heaves.

"I dont have a dick! And if I did it wouldn't be limp...(A/N Kaze-(shudders)) Why are you dry heaving are you calling me ugly? Oh your such an ass." Kuwabara stomps away as Yusuke finally is able to throw up in peace.

"Eww Mister.." Hiei whines.

Botan looks around at everything going on "Ok that's it, we're going to Genki's house to get this sorted out!"

"But I dont wanna go," Kuwabara whined "I cant go out in public like this." (A/N-He's wearing his old clothes.)

"I'm not leaving without cutie here." Kurama says as he starts walking towards Kuwabara. Botan whacks him.

"We're leaving...Now!" Botan yells as everyone scrambles out the room.

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Sora-Everything is getting bler...(Falls to the ground)

Kaze-(pokes Sora with stick)

Frey- See you next time

Kaze- I told you to leave! 


	4. God you're sick

Kaze: Wow, we actually made it to a chapter 4...(has heart attack). Sadly Sora isn't here. She's on VACATION! Lucky little bitch, so I'm here all-alone.

Frey: I'm still here.

Kaze: Would you just get out! (Chases Frey with broom.)

Hiei: Stop it, I'm trying to take a naaaap.

Kaze: Oh I so sorry Hiei. (Cuddles.)

Kuwabara: I wanna cuddle him! (Hiei runs away.)

Kurama: You can cuddle me.

Kaze: (sweat drop) Ok...Not right. Anyways, I'm sorry for not updated; it's hard for Sora and me to get together during the summer. (Sweat drop) Kurama stop chasing Kuwabara. You read chapter while I kill Kurama!

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Botan waited outside the door for Genkai to answer. She wanted to get inside so she could take a HUGE aspirin. The whole way over they were fighting or, in Hiei's case, asking questions. If he asks if she's a witch one more time...

Genki answered the door looking at everyone, amused, "Koemba told me the situation. Come in."

They all started to come in except Yusuke, who according to him 'Would not go into a old smelly ladies house in fear that she'll cook them' he so happened to have been reading Hansel and Gretal on the way over. "No! Don't go in there guys she's going to fatten you up, then eat you!"

"Get in here, Idiot," Genki threatened glaring at Yusuke.

After much coaxing...or beating from Botan's oar, Yusuke entered the house, slowly and careful. He was as scared as a long tail cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

"Excuse me old lady, can I have something to eat?" Hiei asked in a cute 3-year-old voice, looking at Genki.

"Don't eat anything little boy!" Yusuke yelled "She's gonna cook you!"

"Oh for god sakes..." Botan mumbled, "Keiko, can you calm him down."

"I'll do it!" Kuwabara squealed as she/he slapped Yusuke knocking him against a wall "That's for watching me while I was in the shower, you pervert."

"I wish I was watching you in the shower," Kurama smiled as he walked over to Kuwabara with a suggestive look on his face.

"Ok, that's just creepy!" Keiko gagged.

"What's going on...?" Yukina asked coming into the room.

"You don't want to know..." Botan said.

"Hey Yukina, can I borrow a bra?" Kuwabara asked.

"What?"

"I'll take that as a yes,"

"But-" Yukina started but Kuwabara already left. She looked at everyone confused.

"Let me explain..." Botan explained everything. Right after she finished Kuwabara came back...

"It's horrible none of your bra's fit me!"

Their jaws all hit the floor looking at him hold all of Yukina's bras. "What are you guys looking at?" Kuwabara drop the ripped bras on the floor and stomps away.

Yusuke shudders "Ok never want to see that again. I think I'm going to go stab my eyes out with a spoon."

Botan grabs him before he leaves, "Oh no you don't we're all going to stay here in Genkai's house."

"But, but..." Yusuke saw the look Botan was giving him, "Fine, but I'm not sleeping with him or... Her, i guess."

"I'll sleep with her," Kurama smiles dreamily as he stands next to Kuwabara.

"Dude, you got some weird taste in women, I mean, have you looked at her. She's like a gorilla." Yusuke remarks.

"You can be so cruel!" Kuwarabara cries as she/he runs out of the room.

"Wait for me, my love," Kurama says making everybody shudder at the thought.

"Um...Where did Hiei go?" Yukina asks looking around.

They all heard a noise coming from the kitchen. They slowly walked into the kitchen and a little rolly polly Hiei was laying on the floor groaning as he held his stomach.

"Man Kid, you ate a lot! What are these, 58 chocolate bars?" Yusuke blinks as they all look over at Genkai.

"Why would you have so much chocolate bars, Genkai?" Botan asked.

Genkai looked at them, "Its not mine."

"THEN WHOSE IS IT!" Botan says going a little overboard.( Kaze-I think that made sense.)

"Yukina's," Genkai stated as they all fall over anime style.

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-Family time with Yusuke and Kuwabara-

Yusuke: Family time? What the hell are you smoking?

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Yusuke and Kuwabara are sitting in the family room, glaring at one another. Yusuke was slouched in a chair, while, Kuwabara on the other hand, was sitting straight up with his/her legs crossed and his/her hands on his/her knee's. (Kaze-Oh for god sakes from now on we're referring to Kuwabara as a she.)

"Are you sure you're a girl?" Yusuke mutters.

"Positive, Why do you ask?" Kuwabara replies.

"Because your pants tell me different."

"Why are you looking down there when the bigger package is up here, boy."

While Yusuke dry-heaves, Kurama comes out of no where, with a dollar in his hand. He walks over to Kuwabara and puts the dollar down her shirt.

"Now take it all off!" He suggests.

Yusuke, turns to him, officially grossed out.

"I don't want to see that," Yusuke shouts.

"What do you mean? Are you saying that you don't wanna go with this sexy beast?" Kurama exclaimed.

"She's a beast, alright," Yusuke mutters, "And you'll have to pay me to think she's sexy."

"How dare you!" Kuwabara screams.

Yusuke defiantly annoyed got into fighting position, "Ok, Now you're really annoying. I'm going to shut you up once and for all!"

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Kaze: Sorry for cutting this chapter short, since Sora's not here, we couldn't finish the chapter. Sorry!

Frey: No she's not.

Kaze: Are you ever going to leave...stalker.

Frey: I'm your boyfriend remember.

Kaze: No

Frey: damn it the hypnotism didn't work.

Kaze: What? Oh thats it get him boys. (Yusuke and Kurama came out)

Kurama: Sorry Frey but if we don't, she'll make us do something horrible. Like Kill Kuwabara or something.

Kaze: Oh boy. 


End file.
